Meet Julie
Greetings in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. My name is Julie Ann Woodley and I am the Production Director and a Counselor at New Hope Ministry & Counseling Center. I have come full circle in understanding and accepting my own personal testimony. It’s been a roller coaster ride of emotions. It started with shame and feelings of embarrassment about the life I had led. Next was the attitude of pride, as I would tell my story, I assumed that nobody had ever been through as much as I had. Then it switched back to shame again. After realizing that God Himself placed me here at New Hope and in my position, at some point I had taken my eyes off of God and all He had done to deliver me from a life leading to certain disaster, and onto myself, thinking that people would look at me and judge that I was not fit to work at this ministry, or any other for that matter. I momentarily forgot that it’s not about me, but it truly is all about Him. The word testimony means: a record, a report or a witness. I am a witness to the power of God Almighty. He is the only reason I am alive today to share the good news with you. I pray for each person who reads my testimony, that you will be encouraged and blessed. For anyone who may be in a similar situation, believe me when I say that God will help you. He’s just been waiting for you to surrender and cry out to Him for help.
I begin my story at the age of 15 when I accepted Christ as my Savior. I had been raised in a Christian home and remember going to Sunday school as a small child. We attended church as a family in my early teenage years, but we were not actively involved in the church. It was rather a family affair, as my brother, my father, my best friend and I, all went forward at church one morning. I believe my father had already accepted Christ many years before, but he had been baptized in a creek as a child and I think he just wanted to make sure he had everything covered. That’s always a good idea.
The major dilemma in my life was that I desperately wanted to be loved and accepted. Not unlike many teenagers, I got involved with some friends that didn’t walk with the Lord, but were what we referred to back then as rebels. I claimed it and was very proud of the fact that I was a rebel.
What little bit of religion that I did understand, did not prepare me for life and my rebellious and (oh, did I mention stubborn?) attitude was the beginning of a life filled with strife and turmoil, among many other things. At the age of 16, I found myself pregnant. Ending in a miscarriage, I reacted with much anger and bitterness. Determined to get out from under the roof of my parents, I married this young man in haste. Only a year older than myself, he was still a teenager and he had a lot of his own baggage. It was not until after we were married that I realized he was an alcoholic. He was full of anger and hatred towards a father who had abused him and his mother for years. His father, also an alcoholic, came from a family of drinkers. I had no idea at that time of the dangers of generational sins. My husband had been programmed from childhood how to use and show your authority and he reminded me of this fact frequently. His drinking, lack of employment, and continual abuse became a near deadly combination. I became well acquainted with the county police department, as they were more than familiar with my husband and his prior stunts. I went through another miscarriage, already feeling as if God was punishing me. After a near death experience from one of my husband’s tirades, we moved across the country to Oregon. His lazy, drunken state and continual abuse finally peaked and after becoming pregnant for a third time, I decided it was time to get out. The pregnancy went full term, but we divorced.
I then met husband No. 2, but after living a life of chaos and continual abuse, it took some time to adjust to living a normal life. This man had a very nice family and was the extreme opposite of my first husband. We attended church regularly and were active as assistant youth group leaders. Although I was actively involved with church and even spending time with fellow Christians, I was still not firmly grounded in the Lord or His Word. Because of this, the devil enticed me into having an affair with a man that was in prison. I really didn’t even see it coming.
A friend had shared with me about a guest speaker at her church. We had both attended school with him. He was currently incarcerated, but was out on a weekend furlough to speak at her church. I was very happy for him, especially because I knew about him and the family he had grown up in. I sent a letter to him in prison, encouraging him for the choice he had made, but the devil used it to open a door that lead to destruction. After a time of correspondence, I left my second husband and set up housekeeping in another city and state and awaited the arrival of my soon to be husband No. 3 as he was to be released from prison. It didn’t take me long to figure out that everything he said had been lies. He hadn’t quit drinking or drugging. This relationship was simply unbelievable. He used my credit card to get cash to buy his drugs. He left one evening to go buy cigarettes and was gone for 2 or 3 days. Eventually he was arrested and sent back to prison. I called my parents for help and they came to my rescue. I put everything in storage, moved, and then filed for a divorce and bankruptcy.
Now being divorced three times, I sunk into a state of extreme depression. At some point in my life, I had heard that to take my own life would certainly send me straight to hell. I don’t know where this information came from, but it saved me from death on more than one occasion. For several years, I continued a self-destructive lifestyle of drinking, smoking marijuana, and worthless, dead-end relationships.
After a few years passed, I met husband No. 4. He was a nice man, but had a psycho daughter! I dove into this marriage thinking I could be the mother that she never had. For some crazy reason, I hadn’t yet learned that you can’t change the spots on a leopard! Her behavior and her father’s lack of discipline lead me to weekly visits with a Psychiatrist. After 3 years of Paxill, Zoloft and Prozac, I decided that I wasn’t the one with a mental problem. I went cold-turkey on the drugs, moved out while he was gone hunting and got yet another divorce!
Several years had passed since I’d seen or spoken with husband No 3. Even though I had been in and out of church over the years, I was still far from knowing the Lord and living a life of surrender to Him. So once again, the devil planted lies in my mind, tempting me to make contact with him again. To make a very long story short, we remarried. Over time, all of the same habits resurfaced. The alcohol, the drugs, and one lie after another became the norm. Although I refrained from drinking because of his addiction, we did smoke marijuana on a regular basis. One night he became very violent, punching me in the head and breaking my arm. His excuse was that he had mixed the wrong drink with the wrong drug and a monster erupted. He was however, kind enough to drive me to the emergency room. I could tell story after story, but there are too many to recall. In fact, I believe the Lord has actually protected me from remembering a lot of my past. It all came to a head when he lied about taking a trip out of state and I discovered the trip was actually to the dope man’s house to buy some cocaine or meth. I called my family for money one more time. I sold nearly all of our furniture to the neighbors across the street, loaded up what I could and headed back home….Again!
I had no vehicle, no money, no job and no home. I was full of anger, resentment, and bitterness towards God and everyone else. I lived with my mother for a while. That didn’t work for either one of us. In the spring of that year, I met yet another man! We dated a few times and even though I knew he wasn’t the kind of man I should be hanging out with, when he asked me to move in with him I saw it as an answer to my problem. We lived together and I began living his lifestyle. Nearly every night was spent at the bar. Unlike my previous experiences, he was never violent when intoxicated, which made it easier for me to tolerate. After a year of this, the Holy Spirit put the squeeze on me! I mean in a major way! I felt like I was going to snap. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to move back in with my mother, but I didn’t make enough money to live on my own. Often times, we have many options, but they aren’t necessarily the ones we like.
One day at work, I asked a gal if there were any counseling places around that were Christian based. She told me about New Hope, so I called. The woman I spoke with sensed my desperation. After a brief waiting period, I got into their counseling program. I faithfully came every week. Often I came with an attitude, feeling as though nothing was working. I didn’t feel any different and I was still living in the same situation. I believed that God was out to get me. I thought I had done way too much to ever be forgiven. I had been repeatedly told by men that I was stupid, fat and ugly. I had no self esteem. I just wanted to quit.
The Holy Spirit kept urging me forward. During each session I would learn more and more about God, My Heavenly Father, and that He truly did Love Me. That He created me to share an intimate personal relationship with Him. The truth was, He was not out to get me, but wanted to forgive me for all of my past. I learned that He wasn’t like the world…He doesn’t hold our past against us. When God forgives, He forgets. It was so hard to give up the worldly ways. My flesh hated every bit of it. I fought it all the way, but I wanted God more. I wanted Him to be in control of my life and I knew there was no going back. I kept on going and I made the ultimate decision to Totally Surrender my life to the Lord.
My life is actually written in God’s Word. I knew it was in there, but it wasn’t until I started eating up God’s Word that He led me to it again. John 4:6-29 tells the story of a Samaritan woman whom Jesus spoke to at a well where He asked her for a drink. Jesus spoke to her about water that she could drink and she would never thirst again. He told her to call her husband to come. To which she answered, I have no husband. “Jesus said unto her, you have well said, I have no husband: For you have had five husbands; and he whom you now have is not your husband!” That was Me! I’d had 5 husbands and the man I was living with was not my husband. I was at this exact point in my life when the Holy Spirit began to draw me back to Himself. When God took me to that story in His Word, I was overwhelmed with His love and forgiveness. I wept and wept.
God had been working in my life all along, but it wasn’t until I reached the point of Total Surrender that He started showing Himself to me in ways that I could not have imagined. He provided a home for me. He provided financial blessings. He provided an awesome church family where the Word of God is preached. He’s changed my heart and my entire life.
Here’s the interesting end of my last relationship. After I had ended that relationship and we were no longer in contact, the man I had previously been living with called me early one morning. His voice sounded strange and I was struggling to figure out who I was talking to. Long story short….He was diagnosed with a brain tumor. His family would have no way to care for him and would have to place him in nursing home. I prayed about the situation and I felt like God was asking me to step up. I became his caregiver 24/7. I wanted to be sure that he knew the Lord. He went to Sunday school as a child, but that was years ago. One afternoon while we were sitting in the parking lot of the facility he was staying at while receiving radiation, I talked to him about how sometimes God doesn’t answer our prayers the way we would like and if God didn’t heal him, was he sure that he would spend eternity in Heaven? He repeated the sinner’s prayer that day and I knew God was right there with us. I knew why God had asked me to step up. My friend had been given 6 months to live. What was 6 months out of my life? When his life was over, mine would go on. After several weeks of Chemo and Radiation, I brought him back to his home. The house that I couldn’t wait to get out of, I had moved back into. I cared for him until he went to be with the Lord. I learned so many lessons about life and death and about stubbornness and pride. It was difficult, but God walked with me through it all. God’s promise of eternal life comforts me, because I know I will see my friend again someday.
The many lessons that we learn in life, the many roads we take, they are all a part of a bigger plan. They are all a part of who we are. God prepares us for the plans that He has, often years in advance so that our lives can bring Him the most glory.
I know how difficult it is to surrender. I know how hard it is to fight satan. I was a faithful servant of his for many years and he didn’t want to let me go. I often wondered what it was that gave me the power to go on, the power to overcome the enemy and to fight back. Today I know it was the power of the Holy Spirit who lives in me. He enabled me then and He enables me today. "I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). Apart from Him, I can do absolutely nothing.
Today I know Who I am in Christ and I know that “Greater is He who is in me than he that is in the world" (1 John 4:4). He gave me the strength I needed to take one day at a time. I do not regret my past. I am grateful for each and every trial, because had I not gone through them all, I wouldn’t be where I am today. God has placed a passion in me for others who are struggling as I did. I know that He will do for you what you cannot do for yourself, if you will only step out and trust Him.
If you are in a place where you feel like there is no way out, please cry out to God. He will hear you. He is as close as a whisper. You are not a mistake. You are deeply and passionately loved by your Heavenly Father. He wants to be your everything.
My past seems like it happened so long ago. Sometimes when I share my testimony, the Lord will bring something to my memory that I had forgotten about. Sometimes just for fun. Sometimes, to bring additional healing to a part of me or someone else that I had not remembered. We are all on a life long journey. Everyday we have the opportunity to live for Jesus and to share all that we have with others. God created us to share in an intimate loving relationship with Him. Trust God’s Word and BELIEVE that HE LOVES YOU and HE CARES ABOUT EVERY DETAIL OF YOUR LIFE. Nothing is too big for God. I know, because I’m living proof of God’s love.